Tuesday, August 21, 2018

In the Blink of An Eye

In just six days, my own little Clara Lynn will be six months old. That's a whole half of a year!! How in the world did this happen?! For the past week or so, I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety about this realization. It all went by so fast...

At 38 weeks, I was induced for high blood pressure. They assured Mike and I it would be an extremely slow process. The hospital staff insisted she wouldn't make her appearance for about three days. Well, they were wrong. The induction process started around 2:00 PM on Monday, and by 7:43 PM on Tuesday, she was here! My teeny tiny newborn baby girl was finally in my arms and I couldn't have been more in love. My baby was so small she needed preemie clothes and diapers!

The day and a half spent in the hospital were a blur. Recovering from birth, learning to breastfeed, and all around trying to get used to the idea of my body no longer housing a tiny human, I felt (and probably looked) like a zombie. Both Clara and I were continuously poked and pricked, and I couldn't wait to get home. I quickly realized the hospital scene was not for me.

Once we did get home, reality finally hit me. Mike and I are home, alone, completely responsible for this little life. She depends on us for absolutely everything. Better not screw this up! I was terrified (as I imagine all new parents are), I felt like I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. It didn't matter how much I had prepared for this ahead of time, it was real and it was scary. Thankfully, I had many friends and family to reassure me that everything will work out and be ok.

First visit to Steve's Diner at one week old!

Fast forward a few weeks, our sweet girl spends a week in the Children's Hospital. This little LITTLE (I mean seriously little, she was a month old and smaller than most newborns)girl is very sick. She's diagnosed with several GI issues and we have to stop breastfeeding, switch to a hypoallergenic, amino-acid based formula, start multiple medications, and pray she starts gaining some weight. I am so thankful we live in an area with such an amazing hospital. The doctors, nurses, care coordinators, and anyone else who had a part in helping my baby were amazing. Everyone was extremely helpful and encouraging. We were discharged and had to completely rearrange our life. I had to set alarms throughout the day to draw up meds, made sure to get up at midnight to give another med, and wake up several times to feed my girl a teeny amount of formula and hope she didn't throw it all up. Anything she kept down would help her gain weight.

Five months later, this girl is THRIVING! Wild child doesn't even begin to describe her. Always on the go, wanting to play with everything and smile at everyone. She is so close to crawling, getting up on all fours and we can just see the determination in her little face. At just under 14 pounds, she still fits 3 month clothing, so she's still tiny, and that's ok. Her growth curve is steady and she is meeting milestones. That's all I can ask for.

It scares me how fast it goes. Everyone always says, “Enjoy it now, it goes by quickly.” It has to be the most accurate saying known to man. My little newborn who wanted me and me only is now mobile and ready to conquer the whole world. At the end of the day, I can't stop her from growing up. All I can do is take it all in, and enjoy each moment. Every giggle and every whimper are precious, I savor each one.

- The Upstate Blonde 

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